My horoscope tells me not to start any new relationships today.
Well, it is Friday and I suppose I can just wait one more day to go out into the world and grab someone in the grocery store, or at the mall-to be my new best friend.
Growing up in an Italian family of eight children alone time was rare. Exceptionally rare. We shared -crossed boundaries and had no idea what it meant to be "quiet and at peace" although I knew on some level this constant erosion of noise into my brain had to be unhealthy...
We slept two to a bed. Shared the tub in twos-wore each others clothes depending on where one was in the line of inheritance-(my older sister got the new clothes-my youngest sister???-poor baby
We rode two on a bike-shared sleds-baseball mitts-ice skates-and even candy bars.
Sharing was not just a "nice" thing one learned "to do" to have people like you-
it was an imperial order from the parents as a matter of survival-
and no one complained-although we did learn to hide a few things we didn't want to share.
Each of us was different in how we felt and acted upon sharing-
My older sister was the tormentor-
if we had to share a candy bar-she was always the one who waited-a long time-
after we had all enjoyed ours-
to take out hers and eat it in front of everyone-days after the treat was disbursed-
just to torture us-watching her slowly eat her half, bite by bite-as an actor-knowing how to draw out the moment-
savoring and embellishing the actual reality-
of half a stale candy bar.
I was at the opposite end of the spectrum. Whatever was mine-which was virtually nil-was yours.
I knew I had no control over what I owned as a kid-so why be so possessive about it?
If it did you some better-why-go ahead and use it.
Want to use my skates? So did I? Let's go together and split the time.
Want half of my half?
Oh-all right-if it makes you happy...
Want to use my sweater-make-up-book-art set-new lipstick-go ahead..
In retrospect-the environment was an ideal breeding ground for codependance-martyrdom and a sense of few boundries-
as well as a developmental arena for an individual easily identified and taken by predators.
Even then, I fearlessly moved on-believing the next person would not do that-
would "share fair", demonstrate understanding and trust-show faith and loyalty-and believe in the goodness of others..
WC Fields once said something to the effect that there is a sucker in every crowd...
I suppose I am one of them.
As much as I have learned to be a little more circumspect in my judgements of human behaviors
I still believe that being true to myself means sharing, being fair and just and hoping others will as well.
Do you think that kind of attitude goes far in the world today??
