Work and the Diminutiveness of Aging

Diminutive. It is the word that rolled around in my mind today as I was at work. The diminutiveness of my soul, or so it felt. Working in a job which I did 25 years ago for about the same pay. A women- the same age, 56, stopped by my desk and proceeded to tell me how important it was to wear makeup and always dress nice, even at Publix. Because age discredits us-whether we are competent or not-especially if we are competent-because our appearance is now the judging factor-and looking older is a mark against us-so always wear make up and nice clothes-never step out in sweats, or casual clothes. Look professional. Even at Wal Mart.

I ponder that advice. After having worked many years for both Masters degrees, running an agency, well actually more than one, and returning to school at age 39 to get a teaching degree in elementary education.

I consider how simple the judgement is made by looking at the wrinkles on my face, and the stoutness gained in my fifties. It seems the stereotypes offered to me are the Helen Gurley Brown, death mask of botox or the grandma wrinkles, which might make me employable at a daycare.

I observe the age old process of reinventing the wheel, and considering it new-something which occurs -an evolutionary process, repeating over and over again. The bright young minds with the new suggestions which have already been suggested, and yes, they are good suggestions, and for some reason over the past fifty years, someone considers these same ideas, not good. So often not tried.

My silence allows me to watch the assumptions of younger adults-those assumptions considering me old and out of ideas. I have learned, by presenting these ideas, it is the younger adults very youthful immaturity which replies back, the need to be competitive rather than evaluate what is best for clients.

A simple truth about is aging is yes, often, the judgement of younger days dissipates, what is left is the puzzle of what is best for the client. how can whatever program structure is on the table, best serve them. No ego. No threat. No territory to conquer.

Just focus.

Not looking for a better way to reinvent the wheel. Just want to make sure all possible methods have been exhausted of fitting it, before throwing in the towel, and once again, moving through the same repetitive evolutionary process, using new buzz words.

My face, my body, my words, often my expressions, which aren't hip, rob me of deep conversations with younger staff, unless I can engage them individually. I find most people fascinating-how they think, feel-how they got that way. What makes them tick.

My listening without interrupting, my silence, my patience are also what dates me as an older person.

All those skills which are so needed in our society of text messages, voice mail and e-mails. Real time. Real listening. Expression. Interest.

All age me in a society which values time more than intimacy, expediency over detail and judgement over compassion.