Blind Dates

So she sat with him for five hours.

He professed how lonely he was-how his last two wives hurt him.

He ate, drank, confessed his need to have a woman in his life-

one who would do his laundry-keep him company on flights-snowmobile-ride Harleys

he ate, drank-drank some more-wept into his wine glass at the exclusive eatery

drank some more-

nodded off after about hour three-

drank some coffee-

spent an hour venting his right wing politics-

sobered

looked pleadingly at her-

"are you the one?-I just want to be married"

Why did she stay five hours?

As a therapist, her sense of compassion and caring saw a wounded man

so she stayed

By mutual agreement they parted-

he home to another lonely night with his fine wines

-and her-

to her peaceful home, with the cheery fireplace, dog and two cats-

a good book-

feeling thankful-and just fine

living alone

Nights

Sometimes nights are the hardest...

I wonder what the stars think?

What kind of alarm clock person are???

What kind of alarm clock person are you??

Do you hit the snooze button more than once?

Can you sleep through the alarm?

Can you sleep through the alarm so well someone has to wake you up?

Do you sleep through the alarm so well someone has to yell at you?

Can you sleep through the alarm so well someone has to throw water on you to get you up?

Do you sleep through the alarm so well people are pissed at you for having to spend so much time trying to get your lazy ass out of bed??

Do you pop out of bed the minute the alarm begins to sound?

Do you just snuggle under the blankets for a few minutes longer, awake but enjoying that early morning warmth?

Are you up before the alarm goes off?

Do you never sleep and the alarm is just a reminder of the time?

Are you one of the unique who do not need an alarm, aren't terrified of waking late and wake up each day at the exact same time?

I wonder what that feels like.

Teens on the fringe?? Is that a good thing???

I was in a math training the other day discussing the high drop out rate of teens in Nevada's schools. Nevada has one of the highest drop out rates in the country.

Most people living in Las Vegas will tell you the story about the Valet parking attendant making a six figure salary. Kind of a Horatio Alger story-making the point that education isn't necessary in the Silver/(Gold) State.

Educators know that isn't the case. The largest group of kids are not the lowest-it is the brightest who drop out.

One of the many tragedies of standardized testing is the fact our brightest-are not always the children who do well on tests. In fact they tend to do poorly because they question the status quo. Gifted teens tend to read more into a question than needed-always asking, "Is this what they want?" Is this what this means?-as if some deeper meaning exists.

Educators gear information to the middle-the average. Most gifted students not only become bored-they become neglected-discouraged and eventually dispirited.

Education of the masses is such an ironic activity. It is all about socializing and enlightening children to become one of many. In fact, successful test takers are usually those kids who follow the rules well, get their homework in each week, complete assignments and don't question the system.

Learning is all about questioning systems, looking at alternatives, developing critical thinking and applying logic, a little intuition and making use of independent observation to draw conclusions-not necessarily following standard procedure.

I am a lousy test taker but I am not stupid. I always study with the best test takers I know. They teach me what to look for-and what not to look for.

The irony is in the goal. Do we educate our kids to be one of many? Or do we want to provide a learning environment in which our kids will become unique in thought and independent enough to make the difficult decisions in the midst of group think?

Those fringe kids you cringe at when driving by the high school? The ones with the piercings and tattoos? The ones willing to take a risk? Those who question the status quo?

They will rarely become government bureaucrats -nor should we hope they do-we need to be encouraging those kids to revel in their intelligence-it is how scientists, artists, inventors and innovators are nourished , born and bred.

Let's not lose them to mediocrity.

The death of a well rounded education...

In a meeting with third grade teachers yesterday, a 20 year seasoned teacher made what I consider an astounding statement...she said,

"I don't think kids need to learn anything more than reading, writing and math." That's all they need to know." Especially our kids(who are English language learners)-they have no business learning anything else."

I cringed inside. This statement was made in the context of reviewing our kids tests scores from last year. We were looking at what we needed to emphasize before the test in March.

And this, dear parents is your wave of the future. Ignorant children who can read and write but know nothing of our country, the world, the sciences, the history of peoples and cultures.

Perhaps, parents, you also think as she does. It is not important to learn much else besides reading, writing and math.

I consider it the death of a well rounded education.

Our testing mentality has robbed our kids of the world beyond the classroom. It has cheated them -of discovering the wonders of science, the curiosity and investigative qualities which allow us to create for our futures some of the most wondrous inventions we know.

Our kids no longer learn about other cultures, countries, traditions, geographic imprints which affect a country's identity. They are not exposed to a treasure trove of history-or even the basics of our governmental system.

If George Bush and the NCLB law had an underlying intent to develop ignorant, isolated, sadly minimized intellectually citizens of the future-they are succeeding, sadly, succeeding magnificently.

Many new teachers are moving into the field of education with one main theme, solidly sold to them, about how to educate your children.

It is this-their competencies, abilities and evaluative skills will all be based on the success of their classes passing one test-which is primarily focused on math, writing and reading.

No more trips around the world, to study the successes and failures of other cultures, no more explorations of the rain forests, or an understanding of the water cycle, how environments survive, sustain and survive changes, no more travel in a covered wagon across the west as the pioneers did, and sadly, no real exploration of how our country was founded..

Elementary school children literally, have a prison sentence, no matter how much fun teachers can make math, reading, and writing. Yes, we can develop units covering some of the themes of social studies, history, science, and geography-we can invent lesson plans which include all the main areas of emphasis-but most teachers won't do that for your child.

The stakes are too high. Teachers are not feeling support from the communities, the districts, the state or the federal government.

What a loss.

What will we have left?

A culture of group thinkers with no ability to develop the skills such as independent and critical thinking, a little dreaming and a lot of imagination, the sense that learning is all about awe and wonder, and possibilities are unlimited-and the sense that discovery is what learning is all about.

Dear Parents,

It is you who can change this world of narrowly focused , deliberately linear and ignorantly designed education your kids are receiving.

Step up to the plate. Listen to the little whispers out there that are trying to boldly and loudly tell you that this testing mania is destroying what a real education should be-well rounded, exciting, interesting, challenging and enduring.

Learning to love learning, learning how to learn and learning how to apply learning are all important components of learning.

Please stop cheating your children.

You are this country.

Do this for your kids.

Now is your time to be heard.

You did not vote out your legislators because you wanted our country to continue to follow the same path -do the same for the future of our children. Write, call, tell them enough..

I tell my third grade students, "You are the ones who will decide the direction of our country in the future-you will be the ones who make the hard decisions about resources, relationships, fairness, compassion.

Learning in an isolated frame of reference-how will they be able to do that effectively?

We need to teach them all of it.

Not just how to read the directions.

Gracie Slick and Jefferson Airplane sang about love, war , sex and drugs from Height Ashbury in the 1960's.

Last night I thought I was going to the Las Vegas Hilton to see the "Star Trek" adventure, compliments of a friend. She had free tickets and invited my 15 year old daughter and a friend along as well.

"Starship" has one of the original Jefferson Airplane members along with what looked like two members who have been with Mickey Thomas for awhile and three hired hands.

Most of the band are too young to remember the original Mickey Thomas-which explains why he wanted to sing his newer music(We Built This Country on Rock and Roll) and whipped through White Rabbit and Ask Alice-

Nothing ages me more than watching the remnants of a fine music group.

I am not one for going to oldies music concerts. Music grows and changes as we do and those memories connected to concerts long ago lose their luster-I don't want to remember Pink Floyd in my fifties-ruins my brain waves-the ones which pull up files of rockin-euphoria-moments in the music!!

We baby boomers need to get over ourselves-god I used to cringe when my parents listened to old music and refused to look outside their memories for all that is art today.

So Mickey, I know you need to make a living-just do it on your name-try something new. You still have the voice.

And the rest of you traveling minstrels from long ago??? I'd rather remember your best if you don't have plans to make more....

Are Protests Dead???

I was a little girl when the National Guard shot and killed four Kent State College Students protesting the Vietnam War

This image, along with the image of the assassinations of John Kennedy, Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King remain in my mind and spirit -not an etching but a scarring-of turbulent and chaotic times-older brothers, cousins, older sisters' boyfriends and young dads were drafted - over thirty thousand men died-in a war we believed, would eradicate Communism in Vietnam.
Those protests helped end the war-and the collective activism built cohesion ,

I was asked by MoveOn.Org to participate in protesting the Bush decision to escalate troops in Iraq.

Talk about a Deja Vu moment-escalating troops?!-a mere 15 people signed up for the protest in Las Vegas.

I know that we have more than 15 people in the city of Las Vegas who believe this war we are in is nothing but heartache and loss. That the boys we are sending to Iraq to fight a war we were misled to believe was important is now wasting life after young life -and if you knew anything about the thousands of men who died in Vietnam-you would want to bring our men and women home -yesterday.

So many of us had lost someone during the 10 years of Vietnam-so many-it was commonplace to count the related dead - while sitting in our high school classrooms-the void -huge gaping gash of lost fathers, brothers, boyfriends left a generation of children, born in the sixties and early seventies without family, or growing up without fathers in the home.

The POW bands we wore, the hope some would still be alive-
ask John McCain how he survived-ask John Kerry how it felt each day to wonder if it would be your last.

The lack of protest reflects our country's belief we can no longer make an impact on government. The lack of outrage does not seem to be a support of our government but a sense of overwhelming helplessness. As if we are so small (as one citizen)we don't matter anymore-the government is bigger than the people.

We not longer can claim we are a democracy when we believe we do not have the will, the right, the belief that we, as people, citizens of the United States elect and send who we believe to represent our interests to the seat of of our government.

How sad for us-losing our sense of freedom-sense of indignation and demand for justice.

Is the protest dead?
Perhaps -I have this post 60's heart (although I wasn't quite the 60's generation) that somewhere that sense of spirit I deeply love, that sense of passion-I embrace, continues to exist-
to save us from our apathetic sense of hopelessness.

What is RIch???

What is rich? Am I poor? I make a total of about 56 thousand dollars a year working as a teacher, along with two part time jobs and some child support. I just bought a condo which I will pay about 1500.00 per month in payments. This means I have to work a little extra this summer as a substitute teacher in order to have any extras. I haven't been on a vacation in over a year(the last was to California-driving from Nevada). I don't own a big screen TV, I drive a 2005 Malibu and I support a teenage daughter.

We used to eat fast food but we don't anymore-I shop at Albertsons and the big treat is Trader Joe's. I have 40,000 in school loans having earned my Master's in Education. I have very few debts beyond that, but I make ends meet each month and with a little savings, that is about it.

So what is rich? I see people driving brand new SUV's, which I know have got to be a killer in gas. I looked at a condo the other day and the woman had two families living in it, yet she still had huge TV screen, a brand new SUV and beautiful furniture in her house.

I must not be middle class anymore. Middle class must be somewhere in the 100 thousand category?

In the west, housing, food, gas, utilities are all more expensive than the Midwest. Most teachers cannot afford to buy a house-or even a condo unless they have two incomes. Most single teachers I know share living space with others.

The school district in Clark County, Nevada, which encompasses Las Vegas, had to fill 2000 teacher positions last year. People quit and move to other states because they can no longer afford the cost of living here.

The district still came up short 500 teachers and filled the positions with substitute teachers-meaning very few had any experience or education to teach.

My salary (of 46,400.00 per year) is the salary a teacher with a Masters degree plus over 32 hours of additional master's credits receives-after five years of teaching.

So what is rich?

I would consider myself rich if I had a little extra in the bank-enough to take a summer vacation-or if I could buy a new car-maybe a Honda or a Toyota-or even a Mazda-instead of an American car that seems to die-little plastic bit by little plastic bit...

I would feel rich if I had a bedroom set that matched.

I know I am just talking about stuff. At my age stuff is not as important as other things in life-my kids-the time I spend with people I love-even my kitties, the turtles I have in my classroom and my little eight year olds with smiling faces-are worth more than being rich and miserable.

I just wonder what it would be like to go to sleep at night and know there is a little cushion for something special.

That would feel rich to me.

Were Out Of Beta

And I'm out of bread, milk and coffee.
Life's like that.

The quintessential resolutions...

I like resolutions. Keeping my options open while I make promises to myself.

Last year sucked. Nothing I could have planned for. One of those throughout your life you discover kind of things-that all the planning in the world won't prepare us for life's unexpectancies...

So I compiled a list of mishmashed wishes, foolish hopes and built in a few "don't get your panties in a wad contingencies.

1. A red couch. I want to own a red couch. I want to sit on a red couch with my toenails painted red. I like the image.

2. Friends. Real friends. Not dysfunctional human beings with agendas that include sprinkling me with emotional garbage because I have known them so long I feel obligated.

Time to clean the family room out and put in my red couch.

3. Peace. What is so important I need to stress? An acquired habit . I remind myself that life is way too short to stress-stuff happens and my emotional reaction doesn't change the outcome. Only my actions. See number 2.

4. Dreams. I'd like to quit being so practical and have more dreams. When I was a kid my favorite place was lying in the field next to my backyard looking at the sky, dreaming. Watching airplanes fly over. Thinking.

5. Sex. More sex. We do not have enough real sex. We all watch it, talk about it, read about it, look at in magazines, make a shitload of insinuations, indirectly promise it, dangle it, flash it, repress it, smoke it, eat it, drink it, curse it and fondle our own-but we do not have enough good sex-where both people -at the end of the connection,lay back gasping for breath-and-say, "wow, thanks-that was really good." I think only really good sex partners feel pleased after they come.

Otherwise some little insecure dance emerges to ruin what can be an excellent connection. Get over your sickness, Americans, for all that is peripheral to good sex and enjoy it.

6. See number 5. A really good sex partner.

7. Cell phone. I am going to turn it off more often and resign my role as telephone answering slave. I am going to get rid of the jangles, bells, alarms, reminders, vibrations, flashing messages and turn it on when I want to call someone, leave it on when I am expecting a call and only turn it on when I want to listen to messages, return calls and make them.

I am over it.. Truly over. Which also means I can refer to number 5-which I will have more time for without interruption.

8. Outrage. I do a lot of it. See number 3-I think I will just express my outrage peacefully. Ha ha

9. Love. Lots of love. My kids, my animals, my friends, each sharing, generous interaction with others, I am going to treasure. Just not enough to go around in the world. Share it. I will.