Gracie Slick and Jefferson Airplane sang about love, war , sex and drugs from Height Ashbury in the 1960's.

Last night I thought I was going to the Las Vegas Hilton to see the "Star Trek" adventure, compliments of a friend. She had free tickets and invited my 15 year old daughter and a friend along as well.

"Starship" has one of the original Jefferson Airplane members along with what looked like two members who have been with Mickey Thomas for awhile and three hired hands.

Most of the band are too young to remember the original Mickey Thomas-which explains why he wanted to sing his newer music(We Built This Country on Rock and Roll) and whipped through White Rabbit and Ask Alice-

Nothing ages me more than watching the remnants of a fine music group.

I am not one for going to oldies music concerts. Music grows and changes as we do and those memories connected to concerts long ago lose their luster-I don't want to remember Pink Floyd in my fifties-ruins my brain waves-the ones which pull up files of rockin-euphoria-moments in the music!!

We baby boomers need to get over ourselves-god I used to cringe when my parents listened to old music and refused to look outside their memories for all that is art today.

So Mickey, I know you need to make a living-just do it on your name-try something new. You still have the voice.

And the rest of you traveling minstrels from long ago??? I'd rather remember your best if you don't have plans to make more....

Are Protests Dead???

I was a little girl when the National Guard shot and killed four Kent State College Students protesting the Vietnam War

This image, along with the image of the assassinations of John Kennedy, Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King remain in my mind and spirit -not an etching but a scarring-of turbulent and chaotic times-older brothers, cousins, older sisters' boyfriends and young dads were drafted - over thirty thousand men died-in a war we believed, would eradicate Communism in Vietnam.
Those protests helped end the war-and the collective activism built cohesion ,

I was asked by MoveOn.Org to participate in protesting the Bush decision to escalate troops in Iraq.

Talk about a Deja Vu moment-escalating troops?!-a mere 15 people signed up for the protest in Las Vegas.

I know that we have more than 15 people in the city of Las Vegas who believe this war we are in is nothing but heartache and loss. That the boys we are sending to Iraq to fight a war we were misled to believe was important is now wasting life after young life -and if you knew anything about the thousands of men who died in Vietnam-you would want to bring our men and women home -yesterday.

So many of us had lost someone during the 10 years of Vietnam-so many-it was commonplace to count the related dead - while sitting in our high school classrooms-the void -huge gaping gash of lost fathers, brothers, boyfriends left a generation of children, born in the sixties and early seventies without family, or growing up without fathers in the home.

The POW bands we wore, the hope some would still be alive-
ask John McCain how he survived-ask John Kerry how it felt each day to wonder if it would be your last.

The lack of protest reflects our country's belief we can no longer make an impact on government. The lack of outrage does not seem to be a support of our government but a sense of overwhelming helplessness. As if we are so small (as one citizen)we don't matter anymore-the government is bigger than the people.

We not longer can claim we are a democracy when we believe we do not have the will, the right, the belief that we, as people, citizens of the United States elect and send who we believe to represent our interests to the seat of of our government.

How sad for us-losing our sense of freedom-sense of indignation and demand for justice.

Is the protest dead?
Perhaps -I have this post 60's heart (although I wasn't quite the 60's generation) that somewhere that sense of spirit I deeply love, that sense of passion-I embrace, continues to exist-
to save us from our apathetic sense of hopelessness.

What is RIch???

What is rich? Am I poor? I make a total of about 56 thousand dollars a year working as a teacher, along with two part time jobs and some child support. I just bought a condo which I will pay about 1500.00 per month in payments. This means I have to work a little extra this summer as a substitute teacher in order to have any extras. I haven't been on a vacation in over a year(the last was to California-driving from Nevada). I don't own a big screen TV, I drive a 2005 Malibu and I support a teenage daughter.

We used to eat fast food but we don't anymore-I shop at Albertsons and the big treat is Trader Joe's. I have 40,000 in school loans having earned my Master's in Education. I have very few debts beyond that, but I make ends meet each month and with a little savings, that is about it.

So what is rich? I see people driving brand new SUV's, which I know have got to be a killer in gas. I looked at a condo the other day and the woman had two families living in it, yet she still had huge TV screen, a brand new SUV and beautiful furniture in her house.

I must not be middle class anymore. Middle class must be somewhere in the 100 thousand category?

In the west, housing, food, gas, utilities are all more expensive than the Midwest. Most teachers cannot afford to buy a house-or even a condo unless they have two incomes. Most single teachers I know share living space with others.

The school district in Clark County, Nevada, which encompasses Las Vegas, had to fill 2000 teacher positions last year. People quit and move to other states because they can no longer afford the cost of living here.

The district still came up short 500 teachers and filled the positions with substitute teachers-meaning very few had any experience or education to teach.

My salary (of 46,400.00 per year) is the salary a teacher with a Masters degree plus over 32 hours of additional master's credits receives-after five years of teaching.

So what is rich?

I would consider myself rich if I had a little extra in the bank-enough to take a summer vacation-or if I could buy a new car-maybe a Honda or a Toyota-or even a Mazda-instead of an American car that seems to die-little plastic bit by little plastic bit...

I would feel rich if I had a bedroom set that matched.

I know I am just talking about stuff. At my age stuff is not as important as other things in life-my kids-the time I spend with people I love-even my kitties, the turtles I have in my classroom and my little eight year olds with smiling faces-are worth more than being rich and miserable.

I just wonder what it would be like to go to sleep at night and know there is a little cushion for something special.

That would feel rich to me.

Were Out Of Beta

And I'm out of bread, milk and coffee.
Life's like that.

The quintessential resolutions...

I like resolutions. Keeping my options open while I make promises to myself.

Last year sucked. Nothing I could have planned for. One of those throughout your life you discover kind of things-that all the planning in the world won't prepare us for life's unexpectancies...

So I compiled a list of mishmashed wishes, foolish hopes and built in a few "don't get your panties in a wad contingencies.

1. A red couch. I want to own a red couch. I want to sit on a red couch with my toenails painted red. I like the image.

2. Friends. Real friends. Not dysfunctional human beings with agendas that include sprinkling me with emotional garbage because I have known them so long I feel obligated.

Time to clean the family room out and put in my red couch.

3. Peace. What is so important I need to stress? An acquired habit . I remind myself that life is way too short to stress-stuff happens and my emotional reaction doesn't change the outcome. Only my actions. See number 2.

4. Dreams. I'd like to quit being so practical and have more dreams. When I was a kid my favorite place was lying in the field next to my backyard looking at the sky, dreaming. Watching airplanes fly over. Thinking.

5. Sex. More sex. We do not have enough real sex. We all watch it, talk about it, read about it, look at in magazines, make a shitload of insinuations, indirectly promise it, dangle it, flash it, repress it, smoke it, eat it, drink it, curse it and fondle our own-but we do not have enough good sex-where both people -at the end of the connection,lay back gasping for breath-and-say, "wow, thanks-that was really good." I think only really good sex partners feel pleased after they come.

Otherwise some little insecure dance emerges to ruin what can be an excellent connection. Get over your sickness, Americans, for all that is peripheral to good sex and enjoy it.

6. See number 5. A really good sex partner.

7. Cell phone. I am going to turn it off more often and resign my role as telephone answering slave. I am going to get rid of the jangles, bells, alarms, reminders, vibrations, flashing messages and turn it on when I want to call someone, leave it on when I am expecting a call and only turn it on when I want to listen to messages, return calls and make them.

I am over it.. Truly over. Which also means I can refer to number 5-which I will have more time for without interruption.

8. Outrage. I do a lot of it. See number 3-I think I will just express my outrage peacefully. Ha ha

9. Love. Lots of love. My kids, my animals, my friends, each sharing, generous interaction with others, I am going to treasure. Just not enough to go around in the world. Share it. I will.

Distorted Images in the Mirror of the US CItizen

In Europe, after World War Two, occupied Germans called us the "Ugly Americans".
Considered loud, arrogant, ill mannered, without grace. They smiled and detested us.

We Americans, of course, horrified by the atrocities felt justified to use our bad manners.

As a fifty something woman my observations span a time from Eisenhower to the present.

We really did believe , passionately, that we , as part of an axis, helped free a country committing such horrible crimes against humans-it was an imperative.

In our own country we stood firm, throwing out Nixon, fighting for civil rights and justice, personal freedoms, laws and structure to protect our weakest as well as place protections to prevent the building of a labor force by empires which at every turn attempted to build slave labor.
We took responsibility for the polluting of our lakes and rivers and passed laws to protect our wildlife, lands, air and waterways.

We stood tall in the face of a corrupt Presidential administration as President Nixon resigned and many officials went to prison.

Those very baby boomers who stood in public and protested for change, fought from the university campus's, marched on Washington and used their votes to make a difference are now the old farts -the "establishment" making the changes, calling the shots, changing the laws and using their economic power to influence our policies and laws.

What the hell happened? What changed?

Somehow that sense of justice has been distorted-translated-twisted-
parodied-

To believe the US is not only above the moral laws of the world, but that we set them, to believe that we choose which humans suffer -and that the poor, the disenfranchised, the homeless. the migrant, the abused, the neglected, the elderly and the uneducated -if the cannot compete, they deserve whatever befalls them.
Oh, we don't proclaim that-we do it by ignoring the injustices, attacking the idealists and the dreamer, and creating a mindthink so similar to historical pathways that have led to the altering or downfall of powerful civilizations-it makes my heart hurt.

Our civilization is disillusioned -cynical-distrusting-
we seem to react to it by finding those even more cynical, distrusting and morally corrupt and have them speak for us.

I am afraid for us. We don't stand outraged by our own bad behavior anymore. We don't demand immediate change and accountability.

It's as if the orgy of Rome continues until it destroys itself from within-or somewhere-an outside influence will destroy what we believe in-based on our total apathetic response to the corruption, the arrogance, the ignorance and greed of our government.

Bush "thinks" about what to do in Iraq while our kids die.

This list is a mile long.
Shall I write it again?
Shall I write about high prices, huge corporate profits, the attack on our educational systems? The stagnant wage, unaffordable housing, global warming, corrupt politicians, .........huge national debt

Do we need to keep writing and speaking ?????

Does anyone else grieve as I do?
For all that we believed we could change the world by setting an example-as a free world?

Miss USA-Representing the better part of us????

She needs to go to rehab. She gets a second chance She's seen in tears getting a reprieve from "The Donald"

I am so over it all. Brittany's crotch-Paris Hilton's drunken image. Save me from Lindsay's cocaine powdered nose. The drunken arrests.

I say kick her ass off the pageant. Get rid of her. Dump her with great ceremony.

For God's sake, someone stand up and tell our girls they have a right to a little dignity. To respect. That not every girl out there is set for rehab, that she doesn't have to sell her body image as a sexual excuse for being a human beneath all that breast, tits/ass/crotch/pussy /drugs image.

Is this the new culture? Do we all go into life screwing up big time and getting second chances.

I believe in second chances. I've had a few myself.

But since when did this become the central theme we admire in our society?

We must have thousands of people in the world who don't drink, drug and party,who work hard, have dreams, work on making them happen and don't need to destroy themselves and then weep, humiliate and degrade themselves in order to keep what they haven't earned in the first place.

What kind of message do we want to send our kids?

Is it not okay anymore to set an example with high standards for our kids to look up to?

Or is this really all we have to offer our kids in the form of role models anymore?

Drunks, druggies, sluts, corrupt sports figures -rape accusations, infidelity-hard partying-

Is this it?

Since when do we say it's okay to admire and emulate someone who is already fucked up?

I am not saying second chances, rehab and righting one's life should be condemned, judged or "morally rightoused" by any of us. . People screw up.

I just want an example for my fourteen year old daughter which sets out what the "best" is, can be or wants to be-so she has some sense of hope- direction-will,-discipline-admiration,,some positive focus in this crazy, pathetic sexed up media hyped culture.

Donald Trump has sleazed the Miss USA, Miss Teen USA pageants with his own brand of slime.

Now they are just another couple of Brittaney Spears/Paris Hilton look alike contests-slut on a stick-

American girls-step forward and show me your accomplishments, please? Ones that have more to do with integrity-quality-self esteem-intelligence and the message you take care of your body -as in "health"?