"The Commander

What a foolish nation we have become.

What once was known as a democracy has become another autocracy, with an even greater disparity between the poor and middle class , and the ultra rich.

Our citizens believe they have no control or say in our country's future. I think I mourn the loss of this more than any other factor. To lose hope in our history, our philosophy and our dreams. How do we restore it?

Newsmedia cowards--shame on you---

Where were you during the last Presidential election? Why weren't you shouting after 9-11? Where were you before the recent scandals and the majority Democratic Party win?

Where were you when Rumsfeld announced people needed to watch what they say? When Education powerbroker Ron Brown called the NEA a "terrorist" group?

Shame on you, cowards. Now is the time to jump on the bandwagon??

I hold you just as much responsible for not getting the news out and hiding behind FOX propaganda-which I couldn't stomach seven years ago.

Media knows as well as I do if the information is limited, it is what people will use to make decisions. Bush, Cheney and Rove know that too.

Only certain events could not be "spinned"-Hurricane Katrina-Weapons of Mass Destruction-our boys dying like Vietnam nightmares of the 60's generation.

We still don't face the truth. Where are the pictures of Lousiana now? Show the world the body bags coming home. Show us the real pictures in Iraq like you did Vietnam. Put it in our faces so we deal with it.

Quit with the mushy gerrymeandering with words.

Show our country the truth-take a chance-restore democracy to us-or at least the illusion that the government is for the people-including the honest depiction of reality in the news.

Do it. For all of us.

Pissed off old lady

Three weeks ago I moved into my new condo. I have no mailbox key. No mail. Maybe it is sitting in the box doing a happy dance. ? The condo association tells me it isn't their business. They claim it is illegal for them to have a key. Against the law, she said. The Post Office claims it isn't a public mailbox. The original owner , at closing. tells the listing agent it was a messy divorce and she does not have mail box key. I call a locksmith. I can have my mailbox re keyed for 70 dollars. I do it.

Mail delivery sure has changed over time. Never had a mailbox key ten years ago. Had a normal mailbox. One that open and shut. I guess people steal a lot more nowadays?

I bought a bed in a box at Wal Mart. I couldn't carry the box into the house-it was too heavy. I took the wood out and carried it in a little at a time. In the process of moving the directions have gotten lost. I e-mailed Wal Mart. Two days later my answer-send us a copy of your receipt, where you bought it, and your name and address.

Fuck.I didn't keep the receipt. I just want a copy of the fucking directions.I went to Mal Mart-tempted to open the box and take the directions.

Went to customer service.

Asked for help.

Paged stock.

Never answered.

Sorry, she said, maybe if you walk back to stock you can find someone to help you.

Walked back to stock. No one could help me.

One guy showed me his name tag, "it says sales-he said. I can't help you.

Do you, readers, know what old lady rage is?

I am 53 years old. Maybe I qualify for old lady rage now.You know, the type of person you see in the store, that lady who is pissed and everyone turns away because they think, "just another old lady bitch.."

As I age I notice I have to work twice as hard to obtain assistance. I am not the cute little size three chic I was in 1980. Or even 1990. I am a middle aged woman who is starting to feel a little pissed at the incompetence out in the world.

My money is good. My service should be just as good.

I received a call from my insurance company on a Saturday night.

Progressive Insurance.

Please call 1800- and enter this number to receive an important message.

I call. "Your driver's license is from another state. Please call to verify.

I call.

Your birth date please.

Your drivers license number

What? I am going to give them more personal information?

I tell them I will look up their number on my policy and call them back.

I find out they have a drivers license number from Florida-where I lived 8 YEARS AGO.They do not have my Nevada license and they have been insuring me in Nevada for eight years.

I have had two accidents(not my fault) they have billed me for eight years. And they don't know why they still have me as a Florida driver.

They ask me-did you change it? I say, yes. I had to. I couldn't keep driving on an out of state license-in Nevada it is against the law and I could be fined.

Where does all this incompetence come from?

I am starting to become one pissed off lady.

A Smile or a laugh

Depression and Anxiety-one helleva cocktail

Next week we begin our State tests. I have this rock in the pit of my stomach. Maybe I have five students who will pass. I hope others can understand enough of it to do adequately but in reality, I am dreaming.

I have known this since the second week of school. Most of the kids reading and math levels were overinflated by last years teachers. My kids didn't know the basics in mathematics and the comprehension levels for reading were very low.

So much rides on this one stupid test and I don't want my kids to worry about it. I don't want them to believe they are failures when they are only eight year old kids. Why do we do this to our children?

I have told them I only want them to do their best work and not worry about it-no one I know has a clue of what they want to do when they are eight. Let them be kids a little longer. They will get all of this eventually-they are smart, just less prepared than they should have been. I also have two more months to keep working with them, and it will be easier with the pressure off .

This year has changed me. I feel bad inside about everything. I feel as if I am letting so many people down. I feel as if I can't keep up and I struggle wih feeling any joy in life.

I cherish feeling peace. I keep drawing further and further away from people. I feel safer at home, as if I don't have contact with the rest of the world I can't screw up.

I don't want to keep living like this. I need to do something to change this trajectory. I miss laughing. I miss feeling passionate about life and my work. I miss relishing each day.

I need to figure a way out of this.

Respect for Teachers???

I wrote this and didn't send it. It is three months from the end of the school year and Clark County is still 430 teachers short. I am weary.

Dear Senator

I am writing in response to today's article in the LVRJ and your comments about high teacher turnover in Clark County.
I am in my fifth year of teaching. I have seen many teachers leave the district. I work for a great Principal who is retiring this year. She probably would have stayed longer if the expectations for her yearly goals were a little more realistic.
I work for an at risk school. We have made great strides in the past three years and for the first time in thirty years our school is off the "failed" list.
Last year we had two second grade teachers leave during the year. Another second grade teacher had to go on an extended maternity leave.

This year I have many of those students in my class. They had long term substitutes. They came into third grade lacking the knowledge they needed to prepare for third grade. The students lacked discipline and consistancy. A whole year of intermittent substitutes followed by long term subs who may have done their best but had little awareness of what was needed.
My students have made great progress considering where they were at the beginning of the year. They have so much more to learn.

I love teaching. If you asked most teachers why they do it they will tell you it is because they believe in our profession and are committed to our students' learning.

Teaching is a challenging profession. So many variables affect how and when children learn.
I am feeling so demoralized by the attitude of those who do not spend time in the classroom.
This year our legislators need to come and spend a few days at an at risk school and observe learning. Not just one day. You all really need to see how all these variables affect student learning and teachers ability to teach.
I believe money is an important equation in quality education. Money to education, money so educators can live-but I also believe teachers would stay or come here to work if they received more respect and support from the community.
I am so weary of reading criticisms about incompentent teachers when the district does not have the money needed to provide the supplies and curriculum materials needed for children.
When children in my classes have no health care and teeth are rotted or they need glasses. When children come into my room in the morning to tell me parents have not come at night-or their parents had a violent fight.
I am tired when I work two jobs to support my daughter and myself and housing and groceries are so high we can't take a vacation to LA let alone on an airplane.

I haven't thought of leaving the district until I read your comments today. Another year of huge turnover, new teachers, complaints of failure, inadequacy and urgent messages to pay new teachers more to come to our state.
What this means for those of us who stay and work hard is our money is worth less and less each year, we can't afford housing, we work extra jobs and we have to pick up the slack for all those new teachers who walk into our schools in their learning curves.
Pay me so I can work one job. Keep my coworkers the same way. Treat us well for being loyal professionals willing to remain committed to our kids in Nevada. Don't insult us by another two percent raise. Give me a living wage. Campus police make more in starting salary than I do after five years of teaching with a Masters Degree.
I'm feeling discouraged. Maybe it is time for me to move from Las Vegas as well. Maybe my exit interview will be one you read next year.

My daughter-from this-to this

Why?

Adolescence is such a long hard road.

So is parenting.