Grown ups not ready for primetime

I read about a woman who was killed by a machete. Her son, 20 and daughter, 12, lived with her.

She had recently lost her job and was selling tamales on the street corner.

Her kids are fine but she is gone. The church is taking up a collection to pay for her burial. People have offered to take the girl. No relatives here-only Mexico.

Too many young adults live with their parents. Too many rely on mom or dad, or both parents to care and support them. I know many single moms still working extra to suppport kids in college, or just getting out on their own.

Growing up, adulthood was all about becoming independant. It was a matter of pride to be able to support oneself.
Some of us had no choices-going to college meant working and taking out loans and living with a bunch of people in a house to pay rent.

I didn't have the option of calling on anyone to support me.

A 20 year old son living off his mom is just trashy. Shame on him-hanging out while his mom was selling tamales on the street.

Now who will care for him? Not many -welcome to the world of adulthood.

Is there a Santa for Grown-Ups??

I have been an adult since I was a child. With seven sisters and brothers and totally irresponsible, narcissistic parents(and one demonic father) I learned to be an adult for survivals sake. By age six I could cook for eight. By age 7 I could do laundry and iron. Cleaning house started at four. I could read my parents moods from the time I became cognizant of the danger of not reading them. Probably by two.

Adulthood brings certain freedoms. Not having to be near dangerous people. Knowing I had the power (most of the time) to control certain things. Like that fact I could make sure I had food on the table for my family. I had clean sheets(or I had sheets). I had underwear to wear under my clothes. A warm coat. Boots.

I wasn't very good at marriage. I just chose people who resembled my parents. They didn't appear that way at first but at some point the relationships evolved into that. So I decided I probably wasn't very good at them and decided to raise my children myself and do the best I could.

But sometimes it is hard. Both my kids have had good educations and neither has had to worry whether they have clothes or food. They are both wonderful people with humor and kindness. They have their struggles but I am so proud of them and I love them.

I just wish it wasn't so hard sometimes. Having to make all the decisions. I teach school. I have always had to work extra jobs to supplement my income. Sometimes I just wish I had a little break.

I know other women who are in the same situation. Teachers who have to decide whether to juggle the car payment to buy their kids new shoes, or make a late payment because a son or daughter broke an arm or a leg.

I know I am not alone. In many ways though we are all alone.

Isn't there a Santa out there for us?

A Santa that could maybe make an extra house payment so we would have the luxury of having a dinner out, or not worry about living month to month?

A Santa that could give us a little extra time to enjoy our kids -maybe a month without working the extra job?

Or even a Santa that could say, No, you are not alone -none of us single moms would have a to be alone.

If we had a Santa that could do something special for some of us that would be real magic.

Why isn't anyone demanding answers???

Why isn't anyone asking these questions and demanding answers? Why are just rolling over for it?

Why are gas prices so high?

Why is milk over 4.00 a gallon?

Why have my electric bills gone from 200.00 to 500.00 in the summer for the same usage in one year?

Why has Coke gone from 3.99 to 5.99 for twelve in one year?

Why do gas prices change every three or four days?
Why hasn't my salary changed the same way? Why am I not getting increases to keep up with inflation?

Why are we still in this damn war?

What the hell is going on?

Karl Rove Exorcist

Well, how else can we explain his latest fantasy? Congress forced Bush to go to war with Iraq?

He must be possessed.
I can't think of any other rational explanation, can you??

Do you believe the media anymore???

I'm 54 and I am morphing into an old lady who wants to keep her money under the mattress. The media has oversimplified, mislead and sometimes write just plain stupid and insulting stuff.

I don't buy their stories anymore. Do you?

Black Friday-Indeed-the empty Big Lot's

Don't be fooled by what you see in the press.

Look around you.

Many people may have waited in line to buy the 3.99 coffee pot Wal-Mart offered between the hours of 5am and 10 am. You might have seen pictures of people lined up outside electronics stores for the big deals.

That's the American mentality. To be first in line. To pay for something they don't need. To feel like they just triumphed over some kind of obstacle. We have to ask ourselves, more often, I am thinking-do I really need this?

The generation of 30 somethings think home equity lines of credit and credit cards are a way of life. Just one more source of income.

The main streets of local shoppers in Las Vegas were even quieter than usual for a Friday afternoon. Even the Strip seemed a little slow.

A friend of mine and I stopped at Big Lots to pick up our usual cleaning supplies for a dollar each. It was 2:00 in the afternoon and the store was pretty slow. We even had a cashier offer to help us! It felt pretty strange to be driving down one of the busiest streets in Las Vegas and not have problems with the traffic.

I drove my daughter to Mandalay Bay's House of Blues for a concert. Usually the strip is wall to wall cars after Thanksgiving. It was pretty slow. I didn't have any problems getting into the casino nor did I have a problem parking. I hate driving to the Strip during the holidays. It felt eerie to be able to drive in reasonable traffic.

This year I bought my turkey dinner fixings at Food for Less. We thought about forgoing Thanksgiving altogether with milk at almost 5.00 a gallon at Albertsons. Food For Less sold it for 3.00 a gallon. I don't mind packing my own groceries if I save a fair amount of money.

Gas is 3.15 a gallon. Milk 5.00?! Coke, at Albertsons is 5.99 a for 12.

Maybe the retailers need to hear us.

I think we have reached a saturation point. I don't think they could squeeze another dime out of us.

I am a teacher receiving a modest salary and I work three part time jobs. It is expensive to live in this town.

I bought a town home last year and it has already depreciated 50,000 dollars.

I don't plan on moving anywhere so it is all on paper. But the payments are high and it is why I work so much.

I predict Christmas may bring us back to a point beyond the gluttony of years past. With no home equity lines of credit available and the credit cards maxed out, the Las Vegas real estate and job market crashing around us, maybe we will be able to appreciate that it isn't "stuff" that shows love but "us".

Or maybe this generation has not been exposed to this concept and will struggle with what many of us from older generations already understand-that it is people who count-not belongings.

Or do they?

The Teachers Witch Hunt

We teach in an environment of cauldrons and burning stakes. I love teaching children. The deep satisfaction of watching the light burst forward when a child discovers new information and makes sense of it is a thousand times better than any fireworks display I have oohh and aahhhed over in my lifetime.

I feel honored.

I am also terrified for all of us working in a room for seven hours a day-theoretically-alone.
Terrifying is the word-the witch hunt of teachers.
Headlines are made based on allegations.
A teacher never recovers from those.
Even if or when found innocent, or when charges are thrown out.

I would not want to be a male teacher today. Our kids need good male role models-desperately. No wonder we have about one male teacher to every thirty-five female teachers.

Who would risk it?

Students are wise today. Even my second grade children who come to me for hugs will yell, "Ow" if a teacher pats their shoulder-they know the game.

Fifth grade girls are no longer children. Look around you. Most fifth grade girls look thirteen or fourteen. Puberty comes early. Sadly, in my neighborhood school of poverty, instability and a revolving door of parental partners, many girls have become sexually active.
When they reach out for reassurance and validation, yearning for approval and encouragement, we have to be even more careful-never allowing ourselves to be alone with a student, maintaining a distance-not even the hugs they got from their second grade teacher are without suspect three years later. We all have to be so careful.

It only takes one word to ruin a teacher. One word from a confused child, an angry parent, or a disgruntled aide. They all know it as well.

Peoples reaction is, "Well, if the teacher is innocent that will come out."

A teacher I knew was accused a few years ago-he was found innocent-he hung himself afterwards.

You have to understand why teachers teach.
We teach because we have a passion for learning. We believe, deeply, believe in the future of our children. We know education is the way out for many of our poor, abused, neglected, confused kids. We love them and we love teaching our kids. I can't think of any other profession I would rather do-it is an honor to teach children-and a gift to me.

When allegations are made and the press gobbles them up on the front pages without substantiation and the indiviudal's life drifts through the system-not even a statement exonerating the teaching, or the simple act of throwing out the charges can heal the terrible stab wounds to a teacher's psych.

I hope to God I have never have to go there. It is frightening enough to make me rethink teaching as a career.