The Mudslides of Motherhood

I have a new grandson. He shed his newborn old man look and is slowly transforming into a chubby little baby with dimples. He has my crooked smile, my daughter's pretty face and his dad's ears.
The first thing he learned to do was smile.
Nature does that for a reason. Babies require so much time and work, if they didn't smile, it could be a little hard to keep going.
I just finished the 3:30 feeding and it is almost 6:30. He's a gourmet feeder-liked to try a little, smile and coo, eat a little more, smile and coo, gaze around the room, taste a little more.
I'm glad he already likes the finer things in life.

My daughter will be 18 in 5 months. She sat with me last night and told me taking care of a baby is the hardest thing she has ever done. She is exhausted and it shows. The pregnancy wasn't wasy but all the time she was pregnant I kept reminding her this was the easy part.
I raised my daughter by myself. Oh, her dad came to visit her and he has always been good about child support generous with her if she needed other things.
Bu the knew he did not want to be a full time parent at the stage in his life when I became pregnant. I definitely wasn't "the one" so that left me with a decision to make.
When I decided to keep my daughter, I was thirty nine. I had a son graduating from high school.
Raising her was never easy, but my love for her is steadfast, always there, she knows this.
For her motherhood is a huge, huge responsibility. She no longer feels connected to her friends. She is too tired to hang out. She feels isolated at home. One day she told me the hardest day is Monday when we all go back to work.
Motherhood comes in all sizes. From teen age to middle age, middle class to poor, motherhood stands, hung with expectations, traditions and assumptions.
Some things never change. woman bear children and bear the responsibility for them as well. The occasional bottle feeding, diaper changing and "willing to help out when asked" is about the limit for men.
Women spend thousands of hours caring for children. Over the past 50 years women have not only continued this job, they have taken on the additional role of breadwinner often alone, with a mate, it means triple the work.
My daughter and I talked frankly about motherhood. So I am going to say the words women never say out loud for fear they will be condemned as not only horrible mothers (omg!) but terrible human beings.
1. Motherhood is a thankless job at times. The demands can suck the life out of a woman and the only thing really motivating her is the need for sleep! Oh what sweet sleep five or more hours can be to a woman sleep deprived, exhausted and feeling terribly hormonal. Of course, men have to go to work, so they can't possibly awaken to take on all three night feedings. Many women are alone and have no choice.
As a society we all know what sleep deprivation feels like. Light headed-dizzy, spots before the eyes, dry skin, heavy limbs, zombie like brain.
Most of us know we can make it through one day-and then sleep for 12 hours.
New moms get no break. Constant sleep deprivation.
2. The rewards are intrinsic-great. Everyone tells you the rewards are intrinsic, society is so intent on sending the message to woman being a good mom means love it or your horrible-but the rewards are sparse, actually, and the love one has for a child has little to do with the actual chores of parenting. Yes, we love our kids. No we don't like being tethered to a human being with needs so great is controls the entire household. Yes, it is thrilling to see the changes, the first smile, the first step, no it isn't grand to work all day and be up with a crabby baby all night, and then go to work again.
Reality is-a baby needs the care of at least three full time caretakers.
Who invented the rule that the mom is responsible for triple duty?

3. Money IS everything. Money provides women more choices. It is the differences between a caretaker one worries about each day and a sense of security. Money provides respite care for mom. Money allows women choices about the level of work required outside of the home.
Money also provides choice. Poor women receiving cash assistance from any state in the US is required to place their child in day care 8 hours a day five days a week and do SOMETHING-even if it is cleaning up trash at the county dump 40 hours per week.  Poor woman cannot stay home and raise their kids in infancy-at six weeks they are required to place their kids.
Money talks.

4. Have men become worthless to the woman who does it all?
"Helping out" ? Why do woman still accept this? Men should share equally in the child rearing process. Woman are equal partners in the work world. In today's world, I would not have a child unless I had a commitment from my spouse to provide equal care for our child. If he reneged, I would divorce him.
Seriously. I would be doing all the work anyway, so why keep him around?

5. The above observations do not cancel out the fact my grandson is cute, he has a great smile, and he is hungry again..:}

Waking with the strangest dreams-miniature cows??

I woke up remembering my dreams. That is rare. I couldn't tell you the last time I remembered my dreams.
No, it wasn't anything I ate.
I stood in the kitchen looking at a little square Tupperware container. You know, the kind you stash your  leftover Macaroni and cheese? Someone stood across from me. We were having a conversation and as we talked I lifted the lid to the container. Inside were four miniature cows and a miniature black bull with sharp horns.
They immediately jumped out and I found myself chasing them around the fruit bowl and cereal boxes.
I got the cows back inside but the bull kept fighting.
Each time I opened the container to return the bull a cow would jump out.
Finally I got the lid on tight and walked away.

A few hours later I was standing inside a department store and a family stood by a counter with the cows and bull, claiming they found them running around . I explained they weren't for sale, put them back in the container and wondered how I ended up taking care of four miniature  cows and a bull and what they would do next.

Any ideas?

"Reality TV" It's Dead-Get On With It!

I am so sick of reality tv- it doesn't  deserve to be capitalized.
For awhile a few of the shows amused me-Housewives of New Jersey was kind of trashy in a Jerry Springer way-the word reality is some kind of joke,  scripting is an insult-kind of like watching WWF. You know it's fake, why waste time?
Can't flip through the channels without sixty odd reality shows, the other channels are nailing us with reality infomercials and there isn't much difference.
Now, Sarah Palin is going to have an "Alaska" reality show and her kid is shopping around for a Bristol family Donna Reed show, what is left?
Have we no shame or dignity anymore?
A show about  repo-ing someone's truck or motorcycle? Cheaters?  Process Servers? Pawn Shops? Funeral Homes?  Sara and Bristol Palin?
The entire United States media has jumped the shark.
No, jumping is a kind description, US media trawls the ocean floors with catfish, slugs and other bottom feeders.
We're supposed to be "entertained" by media's lowest common denominator-stupidity.

Anyone Else Not Care To Be Along For This Ride?? (Politics)

My stomach is in knots when I read the news. I don't remember getting on this roller coaster ride voluntarily -and I sure don't know how to get off unless pleading ignorance is the E Ticket ?
I do not believe in profiling race to control immigration.
I don't believe 2 1/2 million unemployed people in our nation are "whiners" and "lazy"
I don't believe every person losing a home to foreclosure is shirking responsibility.
I don't believe we need to "tighten our belts" in order to control the economy.

I do believe the middle class are disappearing.
Many professionals have been laid off to "save money" and are replaced with "younger, inexperienced" people.

Why do I believe it?
Because companies are making record profits and the unemployment  and  foreclosure rates continue upwards yet consumer spending rates are  down.
So big companies and Wall Street are doing great but our citizenship is struggling and losing ground financially.
No, I don't want to go along on this crazy ride called,
"We don't want more taxes, we want less-
and no we don't care who is suffering out there, if families are suffering, it is their problem".
I don't like being on the ride called, "Public schools are horrible, teachers and government employees are over paid, let's cut them off even more."

Our "voice" per se, as a nation, has become one of hostility, heartlessness , selfishness and greed.
I don't know how this happened or where it is coming from, but it isn't the "E ticket ride" I chose.
Get me off.
This nation feels like a bad "Chuckie" movie, and I don't like it.

Beware, Las Vegas Police shoot first, ask questions later

Las Vegas has become a microcosm of what a police state looks like.
You might want to keep this information for future reference.
The Las Vegas Police department doesn't use tasers to subdue potentially dangerous suspects,
They shoot to kill.
In the past 6 months, 17 people have been killed by Metro Police officers.
Of those incidents, one especially trigger happy officer has killed twice in six months.

Consider that Las Vegas, the place you go to keep secrets, is a "libertarian state", carrying concealed weapons is a badge of honor for the tough, independent, but very self centered men living in this little corner of the state.

And it is the men who are shot and killed.
Well, they did shoot and kill a woman standing outside next to an ice cream truck because they claimed she had a butter knife in her hand. She was upset with the police because they were apprehending her husband, the driver of the truck.

Las Vegas Police officers don't mess with deescalation techniques, or quelling a potentially charged situation.
In fact the most recent shooting to create real controversy was the shooting of a man outside of Costco, in the parking lot .
Glad I wasn't pushing my shopping cart around Costco that day.
Oh, it was recorded but something about the tapes not working correctly.

Flawed video is kind of a mantra with the department.
Used to help elect Jim Gibbons, Nevada's worst governor ever, brought this state to its knees these past two years.
Perhaps the LVMPD should share the blame for our fiscal and regulatory nightmare.

So what, right?
Our little corner of the world  isn't very big, is it?
Visitors are getting the message that Las Vegas is a very scary place for a vacation.
A very, very scary place.

Suckers! The Palin Greed Train

Sarah Palin dumps her Gov job to sell a ghost written book and earn hundreds of thousands of dollars for "speaking engagements"
Surprise!
Levi and the Palin Princess are reunited! Will marry!
Oh, what a surprise! Shopping for a reality show.
Have we had enough of the sleazy behavior
or are some of you still convinced she's the A ticket for president?

That's what I thought..
The painful reality of my country -please prove me wrong here-please?
morons, ignorant, ignorant morons

Wild Country and the Las Vegas Man

Like wild horses in the Nevada Canyons, only not as pretty or self sufficient, the Las Vegas man of Nevada considers himself to be a Libertarian. Now a Libertarian believes the less government the better.-
But let's take a look at what the Nevada man really says when he speaks "Libertarian"
 "The less government the better-no one has the right to be in my business-"
what this really translates into is a mandate for legalized prostitution, legalized drug use, loose alcohol and gambling restrictions, and no responsibilities toward the community in which one resides.
The Las Vegas man can be spotted in the comments section of both local newspapers railing about less government spending and regulation.  Regular commentary  from this species usually entails the ranting about the uselessness of children and encouraging the closing of public schools, the disgust with single women and children, anyone needing help, disabled, mentally ill, elderly-
one might believe Hitler's ancestors sent their remaining genes disguised as men to Las Vegas to set up a pure, healthy, white race of humans, preferably "just men" because women can be purchased for a few hours.

Trucks abound in Nevada. Not a state to worry about conservation of any resource except the money in the Las Vegas man's wallet, he sees women as entertainment, ignoring laws and rules as his right, and the only responsibility he claims is for himself.
You won't find this man on Match.com, nor will he ever claim to be lonely or in need of long term companionship.
As long as he has a paycheck, he has all he needs.
A beer or a joint in hand, a roll of the dice, a hook up from the night club, a working truck, and he is good to go.